I found her, she is an Alpha!

I sit with a smile on my face, my cheeks hurt, I am exhausted after talking to her, every free minute of the day! Day 17! She is an alpha, she speaks my language, its like looking in the mirror, we click.

Fucken! Universe! you know I quit looking! she told me to fuck off! on 19th October 2020. I cried in the Garden, I surrendered and I just closed the door. I cleaned up my mess, I ended relationships that no longer served me. I cleansed, I focused, I cried my heart out, I called her spirit, and said if you exist, just let me know.

Thing is I have felt her, since I was 4 years old, her soft eyes, her gentle curls, her smile and I have looked everywhere for her. The irony is when I moved, she moved, when I left, she left Cape Town, our lives are in sync in so many ways, as if we have felt each other for years, unaware, searching, seeking longing.

She is smart, clever, attractive, a hot mess I call her and I have no desire to fix her, all I seek is to love her. She is fiesty this warrior of a women, she surprises me everyday on so many levels. She teaches me with love, with words that only she can know, with knowledge that my spirit can only share with her.

I sit with my mouth open wide, my heart open completely open, my sleep pattern fucked, my eating pattern fucked but I dance more, I do more huna flying, I feel more, I am just more complete. I surrender control, in the past I had a plan, I had a timeline, now I am thrown all my rules, standards and fear to the wind.

I step fully into this journey, I dip my toes into what feels like home, like a safe space being truly uncomfortable in surrendering. She is more than I can explain, she is bigger than life and is also a celebrity, she has her tribe, she is powerful!

She has her own magic, she does her best work in the dark, like me. We resonate well together, like a well tuned guitar, finding the perfect rhythm, finding the harmony of life.

She makes the last 2 years make sense, deeply, every minute with her fulfills on a level, I never knew existed. Imagine a Colleen, mirrored, I am gobsmacked!

Before this started, I asked her ancestors permission to date her, I asked mine as well. I keep asking the pendulum, if she is my soul mate, and the answer so far is Yes and yes! Day 17* I am stupidly happy, I am silly, I feel light, I am not carrying.

I choose to Love, only, and be happy! my deepest obligation to her, to love, to serve, remember what we have forgotten, when we lost each other, to keeping filling in the puzzle of life.

Another epic tale in the making! How, I love my life.

I am deeply grateful for reiki, the healing and for those who love me.

Thank you, I appreciate you!

PS! My 18th tattoo, Is her name in Arabic.